Written and submitted by Kristina Cotton, Volunteer Mentor with Big Brothers Big Sisters
In 2019, my coworker described a program she had signed up for where adults are paired with children and adolescents to spend time with and mentor. That program was Big Brothers Big Sisters at Family Services of NW PA.
After college, I returned to Erie and felt a lack of community. Big Brothers Big Sisters sparked my interest as I was looking for somewhere to fit in, a means to give back, and healthy and productive ways to spend my new post-college free time. I was elated to meet my little sister in July 2020.
Paula, a Match Support Specialist, facilitated the first face-to-face meeting. We all sipped lemonade while enjoying cookies and conversation. Admittedly, when beginning this program, I questioned if we would truly have anything in common. I feared I would bore my little sister and we would sit through prolonged silences. Thankfully, this has not been the case! In fact, I can hardly believe I was ever nervous as our relationship has bloomed into an authentic, irreplaceable bond. I look back at the pictures I snapped of my little sister on our first few escapades and cannot believe how much we have both grown.
My little sister was 11 years old when we were paired and will be 16 in July! She is an energetic, intelligent, kind, and empathetic young lady. It has been my privilege to watch her grow up. I have held her hand through many laughs, smiles, and even growing pains. She has seamlessly connected with everyone in my home and immediate family.
During my time with Big Brothers Big Sisters, I have experienced some major life events and transitions: my mother passed unexpectedly, my partner took on sole custody of his child, and I completed graduate school. My little sister was patient with me while I mourned the loss of my mother, has effortlessly bonded with my 9- year-old (acting like an older sister), and kept me grounded during semesters of what felt like endless assignments.
Over time our adventures together have changed, naturally, as she has matured, and her interests have shifted. When we first started, we spent most of our time outside at Winter Green Gorge, Asbury Woods, Presque Isle, Shades Beach, and countless playgrounds. We hunted down rocks from Rock-Around- Erie, played rounds of putt-putt, and ate funnel cakes at fairs around the area. We have delighted in ice cream treats, slushies, and bubble teas. In the winter, we enjoyed sledding and warming up with cups of hot chocolate. We explored the library, gobbled down popcorn at Tinseltown, skipped around Waldameer, and visited the rambunctious puppies at the mall. There have been intense games of air hockey at Play-port and numerous movie and anime nights.
Many rainy days, we have stayed in to work on homework, make bracelets, paint rocks and pumpkins (every Halloween). One year, with just 15 dollars and 2 hours, we pieced together an amazing Halloween costume at the salvation army. For her 8th grade winter formal, I took her and her best friend for dinner and a pre-dance photo shoot in Perry Square's winter lights. On Valentine's Day each year, I like dropping flowers and chocolate off at her school (which is somehow always a surprise) to remind her that someone always cares about her. There are days we just jam out to music or have heart to hearts over pizza about the woes of being a teen. There are so many other memories and simply not enough space to write out all that we have done together but know that I carry these memories with me every day.
My heart is warm as I type this out. I go above and beyond because I truly want to be there for my little sister. I take pride in helping to usher her into young adulthood. This program has pushed my creative buttons as we find new ways to spend our time together. Through this program, I have developed a newfound appreciation for Erie and all it has to offer. Spending time with her is so refreshing and enriching that I could not imagine my life without this program.
In the past 4 years, I feel I have been able to slowly heal my inner child through the support I offer my little sister. During this time in a young person's life, feeling seen and heard is so important and something I did not feel at her age. By listening and making her feel important and empowered, my younger self also feels seen and heard.
Every day, I strive to be the adult I would have dreamed to have by my side as a child and teen. I have grown and matured in my own right, learning to navigate this role. I feel valued in this mentorship. My little sister looks up to me for guidance and she trusts me. Knowing her eyes are on me, I place great importance on being an outstanding role model. I believe I have made a difference in this young woman's life and hope to continue to be there for her even after she has aged out.
I know she is happy to be in this program and jumps at every chance to hangout even if is just going grocery shopping with me and watching tv at my house. I feel that I have given my little sister a safe space, free of judgment, where she feels welcomed to be her true self. I, myself, feel accepted and feel I have found a missing piece in my life through Big Brothers Big Sisters. It is beyond an amazing feeling knowing that I have a positive impact on a young person and even more amazing to reflect on the impact she has had on me.
The staff at Big Brothers Big Sisters have been incredible! They are all so supportive and make this program feel even more personal. My little sister and I love the events hosted by Big Brothers Big Sisters and rarely miss them. The staff are always a simple text or email away, which is so important for both the youth and the mentor. Overall, I am very happy I joined this program when I did and have the chance and intention to make a lifelong commitment to being a Big Sister.
To individuals who are considering volunteering, I say: Go for it! Even if you only commit a year, the impact you have could last a lifetime. There is so much evidence that positive non-familial adult supports can be that protective factor that changes the trajectory of a child's life. Invest in youth today for the sake of their tomorrow. 4 hours a month is all it takes, but I promise you will want to go above and beyond the minimum requirements.
About Kristina
My name is Kristina. I have a BA in sociology and an MSW with a graduate certificate in trauma-informed practice. I work in the social work field. I live with my 2 cats (who I talk to every day), my partner, and his 9-year-old son (I am his bonus mom). I am also very close with my older sister. I am a very active person who is described as passionate and kind. I love spending time with others and value making the world a better place.
